Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
