he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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