in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
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