im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
