I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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