apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
