I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
