the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize