Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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