I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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