If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just invented taco cereal.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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