Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
