Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
