he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
