so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
