cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
