After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
