My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
