whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
