Whod you bang
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
