But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Every concussion has its silver lining
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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