I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
