I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
my poor anus
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
