wanna go halves on a baby?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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