Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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