He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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