Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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