Don't you send me to vm
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize