She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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