He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
