Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
