Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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