using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
