so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
