Sober January is a disaster.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
