She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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