it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
jump out the window naked night went bad
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