I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize