It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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