It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize