I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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