ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude i'm inner monologue high
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
