Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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