So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
