i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
