so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
