these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
