How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
