i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
