I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
