Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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