I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
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The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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