Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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