Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
