Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
