Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
