I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
love makes seman taste better
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Randomize
