remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you made out with another girl for some wings
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
