Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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