Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
