forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
