so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
