Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
