It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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