I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
