I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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