'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
