YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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